What to Do if Your Kid is Being Harassed by a Peer (by Annie Fox)

I found this helpful article recently on parenting expert Annie Fox's blog with specific information on how to help your kids if they are being bullied.

What to Do if Your Kid is Being Harassed by a Peer
by Annie Fox, author of Teaching Kids to Be Good People

My email from teens lessens on weekends. This may seem counter-intuitive since kids have more time to connect with friends. But school is where most of the social garbage gets dumped and spread around. 

If you read your teen’s texts (I don’t recommend this unless you’ve got real cause for snooping. If not, please respect healthy boundaries.) you’ll mostly find innocuous blips of conversation. But sometimes your child’s circle of friends—and frenemies—can be intentionally cruel and toxic. That’s when parents need to be aware of what’s happening. Our job is to to help kids manage their intense emotions while teaching them appropriate ways to respond to friends who aren’t acting like friends.

Read more at: http://blog.anniefox.com/2013/05/18/what-do-to-if-your-kid-is-being-harassed-by-a-peer/

The Moviegoer

Published in 1961, The Moviegoer, by Walker Percy, won the National Book Award. An acquaintance suggested that I read the book, and it was my good fortune to do so.

It is as relevant today as it was fifty-two years ago, speaking to the human condition, of love and ideals in a life that values beauty but is determined by status and money. The malaise that blinds the eyes of soul. Though blunt, the humor saves the novel from being a recounting of depressing events that define one’s life and the pursuit of meaning. I highly recommend this book.

Announcing the Release of My New Book: A Penny in Time

Calling all fans of the Bully Dogs series and Frances Reed (Fran to her friends)! The third book in the series, A Penny in Time, is now available in paperback.

 Get to know Fran's friend Dusty better as she sorts out all the changes life has recently dumped on her. Her best friend now only cares about makeup and boys. Her dad has a new girlfriend who loves everything feminine and pink (neither is Dusty's favorite). And now she's thinking about her good friend Frank in new and different ways. A fantastical trip to another dimension—or was it only a dream?—gives Dusty a fuller perspective and confirms her inner strength.

A Penny in Time follows books one and two in the series: Bully Dogs and YNK: You Never Know. Get your paperback copy of A Penny in Time now at Amazon.com>>

Listening to Those Pesky Voices

Creating characters with a distinctive voice is a challenge for a writer. In order for a character to feel true, the experiences and reactions must have verisimilitude. Every character I have created is based on my experiences; yet, they all come to life and have opinions, feelings and emotions that surprise me. I “hear” their voices all the time, telling me about their wishes, characteristics, likes and dislikes.

One instance is when Dean, the boyfriend of Fran in YNK (You Never Know), let me know in adamant terms that he would never wear a Polo shirt--he was a plaid flannel sort of guy. Fran reminded me that she rolls her eyes a lot instead of commenting out loud, which drives her mother crazy. Annie, another friend of Fran’s from YNK, is afraid of going to sleep in the dark. In fact, Annie is afraid of the daytime, too. While I don’t consider myself brave, I have never thought about being afraid of waking up like Annie does.

I have stood up for what is right, like Dusty defending Yugo in A Penny in Time. And like Dusty, I have lived through divorcing parents--but not exactly the same situation as she. I’ve been bullied, but Fran’s situation was what my daughter went through in elementary school. I have been chased by a dog that I later became friendly with, but never had a job walking him. I lived next to a crotchety old man whom I never liked, but my brother and he became friends. I did not have a boyfriend in junior high, but did have boys as friends.

The most intense experience I had with characters “speaking to me” was with a girl named Della. One of my unrealized wishes was to write a perfect short story. One day this little girl, “Della, if you please,” started reciting her story. “No!” I said to her, “your story has been done by much better writers. Southern writers that grasp culture and slavery. Not my thing. Go away.” She pestered me every day, conjuring scenes and dialogue. Finally, in exasperation, I wrote the story. It is perfect in all the technical aspects that make a good short story. But it is trite and says nothing new. Several years later, however, I recognized that this entire story will fit beautifully in an adult fantasy novel I am working on, Eye of the Moon, that takes place in the future on another planet.

One of the most compelling things I have learned from my characters is how to listen with intent. You may think I am merely daydreaming, with my unfocused eyes and lack of attention, but it is more likely I am having a fascinating conversation with characters who need to be heard. And that translates as well to the real “characters” in my life. Although, to tell the truth, sometimes I prefer to listen to the voices of the “others”.

A Paean to Motherhood

I must admit:  to me, this whole parenthood thing is a conundrum. I think one of the most complicated and intense relationships is that between a mother and her child. The developing infant requires constant attention, affection and nurturing, creating a bond; all the while this dependent being is striving for independence. Push, pull, stay with me, leave me alone. One hand gripping our heart, the other tearing at the ties that bind. I remember the euphoric feeling of holding my newborn for the first time and the heartbreak when she left home as an adult.

I told myself I had done a good job raising an independent young woman but I never intended for her to join the Air Force and then move to Australia for five years. I remembered how I cried non-stop for that whole Thanksgiving weekend when she called to say she had been deployed to Iraq. And how I danced, paced the hours until she walked through the door, home again, and I hugged her and cried for joy.

I missed her terribly while she was in Australia and sometimes feared she would emigrate. But she is coming home in June. I know I will fall in love all over again with my child; but where she alights next is another chapter of her story. I know that I will slide again into the blue sea of mixed emotions that parenting brings. Sometimes I wish she could see me as a person and not just her mother, but that will never stop me from always pinning that badge on my heart and wearing it proudly.