When Your Sensitive Boy is Being Bullied

Are you the parent or friend of a sensitive boy, a boy who may not enjoy the rough-housing, boisterous activities other boys seem to enjoy? With their reactions to crowds and noisy situations, keen awareness of what others are feeling, and lack of interest in sports or violent activities, sensitive boys may be easy targets for bullies. But, they don't have to be. Dr. Ted Zeff is a nationally-recognized expert on sensitive boys and shares some key tips for helping your boy not be a victim of a bully.

 Five Strategies to Prevent
your Sensitive Son from Being Bullied
by Dr. Ted Zeff, author of The Strong, Sensitive Boy
"Did you know that 20 percent of the population has a sensitive nervous system and the trait is equally divided between males and females? Therefore, 20 percent of all males are sensitive, or one out of every five boys has a finely tuned nervous system. A highly sensitive boy (HSB) can be easily overwhelmed by noise and crowds, fearful of new situations and shy away from aggressive interactions. He generally reacts more deeply and exhibits more emotional sensitivity than the non-sensitive boy which unfortunately could result in being bullied.

According to the National Association of School Psychologists, 160,000 children miss school every day in the United States for fear of being bullied and more than 50 suicides have been linked to prolonged bullying. School-related bullying has led to depression and poor school performance in many children.

Although research has shown that infant boys are more emotionally reactive than infant girls, by the time boys reach the age of five, they have usually learned to repress every emotion except anger. Societal values emphasize that males should be aggressive, thick-skinned, and emotionally self-controlled, which is the opposite of a sensitive boy. When boys don't conform to the "boy code" and instead show their gentleness and emotions, they are often ostracized and humiliated.

Bullies tend to target kids who seem different from others. Since the 80 percent of non-HSBs are hardwired neurologically to behave in a different manner than the 20 percent of HSBs, many sensitive boys do not fit in with the vast majority of boys and risk being bullied. Bullies also target kids who don't fight back and who react deeply to teasing. Research shows that 85 percent of HSBs avoided fighting and most sensitive boys become more emotionally upset from bullying than other boys.
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