Stop Bullying Before It Starts

There are bullies everywhere; on the road, in the workplace, in the marriage, in cyberspace and schools. It is a problem that must be addressed where it is most prevalent---in grades 6-10. It falls upon the educators and parents alike to initiate clear rules of behavior that defines, discourages and deflects the bully from targeting other children. Bullying is never acceptable, in whatever form it takes.

The Where
School classrooms and the playground are the most likely places where a child is to be bullied. It is the primary arena where teachers, principals, crossing guards and supervisors can effectively intervene.

The How
Boys are more likely to use physical force, while girls are more likely to engage in spreading gossip, taunting or shunning. Today, we have the added onus of the cyber-bully, using the computer and cell phone to post pictures and text on the web, anonymously.

Prevention: Recognize the Problem
Aggressive behavior cannot be ignored, or shrugged off as something that children must learn to deal with---bullying is never a normal experience for children.

There is a difference between conflict resolution and bullying; and that must be clearly defined, stated and enforced by teachers, cafeteria workers, crossing guards, playground supervisors, students themselves and parents.

Prevention: Raise Awareness
Awareness of the problem can be highlighted in the classroom by the teachers openly discussing the effects that bullying has on others. The act of isolating a target, making a child vulnerable to taunts, physical and emotional abuse has to be clearly stated and outlined as unacceptable behavior.

Often, students stand by, not knowing how to help another child who is being attacked verbally or physically, and both the target and stand-by suffer from anxiety, fear and insecurity. This has severe consequences on concentration and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.

Prevention: Role Playing
Another way of helping children to understand the effects of harassment is by role playing: having the student act as the target, and reverse the role and be the bully. This can be done in the classroom with the teacher participating in the discussion and redirecting the aggressive behavior towards resolving a conflict, or as a written assignment.

Children can be told it is okay ignore the jibes, walk away, say “NO!”, or get adult intervention for a physical threat. Adults must be available and understand it is important for a child to have protection against the bully. The school administration must have and enforce a policy against all forms of bullying, even having students sign pledges that they will not participate or tolerate bullies.

Prevention: Work with Parents
We are responsible for our children, all our children, who will be adults having to deal with the negative and positive experiences of childhood. We must empower our children, giving them the social and work skills they need to live productive lives, and we can start at home.

Parents must monitor sibling behavior and must not allow older children to dominate the younger or weaker brother or sister. Also, it is the parents’ and teachers’ responsibility to make it clear that using the computer or cell phone to post text or pictures to intimidate another child is morally wrong and socially unacceptable.

Parents and educators make a difference in the life of a child. We cannot ignore the suffering of a child who is bullied by another. We must work together to ensure that each child has a safe environment at home and at school.