Help Your Sensitive Boy Become a Confident Man

“The Strong, Sensitive Boy offers practical advice and innovative solutions for parents, teachers, and anyone working with sensitive boys. I highly recommend it.” –Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Minds of Boys

Dr. Ted Zeff's book The Strong Sensitive Boy: Help Your Son Become a Happy, Confident Man is a valuable resource for parents, teachers, coaches and family members of boys who are highly sensitive to feelings, sounds, lights, tastes, etc., and not as interested in roughhousing or violent movies and games.

Dr. Zeff helps you learn how to respect the sensitivity and support your highly sensitive son so that he understands who he is and chooses to be true to himself and not feel pressured by our society's standard definitions of masculinity. It's no secret that our culture has a specific belief about what behavior is acceptable for boys: repress emotions, act tough, show you are strong, anger and violence are normal reactions.

A combination of research and anecdotal information, The Strong Sensitive Boy includes stories from highly sensitive men who were bullied by parents, teachers, and other children. The stories are deeply moving and powerful. The book features a helpful list of resources and suggested readings but my favorite parts were the specific examples on how to handle sports, school environment, sharing this information with a teacher, helping your son make friends, and disciplining with gentleness. I also appreciated the special chapter for dads who are raising sensitive boys that talks about how to understand how the dad's own beliefs about being a man may not be serving the needs of his son.

If your son is old enough, I recommend that you read this book with him so that he can better understand himself and see high-sensitivity as a gift and not a curse. Sensitive boys and men are strong and in touch with their emotions. Other common traits of sensitive men include creativity, strong values, compassion, and intuition, not to mention good communication skills and empathy. As parents, teachers, and those who want the best for a sensitive boy, we can work harder to nurture his character and individuality to encourage more self-confidence and higher self-esteem.

Resources:
Read more at Dr. Ted Zeff's website>>
Buy the book on Amazon>>
Questionnaire to determine if your child is highly sensitive: http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test_child.htm

Expert Advice on Parenting a Sensitive Boy

Parenting the Highly Sensitive Boy
by Rebecca Eanes, parenting advocate
"As I said, I began to realize my own son's sensitivity when he was a toddler. He would easily startle, hate surprises, not want to be in crowds (no big birthday parties, and please do not sing to him!), and was sensitive to noise. He had a slight aversion to scratchy material and tags and was (and is!) a picky eater. I didn't realize then that perhaps the textures of some foods bothered him." Read the entire article>>

The Highly Sensitive Boy: Does your son cry often?
by Maureen D. Healy, author of Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness, via PsychologyToday.com
"Does your boy cry often? Has he ever been bullied? Does he enjoy his time alone and quiet space? Is he deeply affected by violence? Or keenly perceptive to how you are feeling or thinking? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be raising a highly sensitive boy. Highly sensitive boys come with deep talents but can be "trying" if you seek to raise them in the regular way." Read the entire article>>

When Your Sensitive Boy is Being Bullied

Are you the parent or friend of a sensitive boy, a boy who may not enjoy the rough-housing, boisterous activities other boys seem to enjoy? With their reactions to crowds and noisy situations, keen awareness of what others are feeling, and lack of interest in sports or violent activities, sensitive boys may be easy targets for bullies. But, they don't have to be. Dr. Ted Zeff is a nationally-recognized expert on sensitive boys and shares some key tips for helping your boy not be a victim of a bully.

 Five Strategies to Prevent
your Sensitive Son from Being Bullied
by Dr. Ted Zeff, author of The Strong, Sensitive Boy
"Did you know that 20 percent of the population has a sensitive nervous system and the trait is equally divided between males and females? Therefore, 20 percent of all males are sensitive, or one out of every five boys has a finely tuned nervous system. A highly sensitive boy (HSB) can be easily overwhelmed by noise and crowds, fearful of new situations and shy away from aggressive interactions. He generally reacts more deeply and exhibits more emotional sensitivity than the non-sensitive boy which unfortunately could result in being bullied.

According to the National Association of School Psychologists, 160,000 children miss school every day in the United States for fear of being bullied and more than 50 suicides have been linked to prolonged bullying. School-related bullying has led to depression and poor school performance in many children.

Although research has shown that infant boys are more emotionally reactive than infant girls, by the time boys reach the age of five, they have usually learned to repress every emotion except anger. Societal values emphasize that males should be aggressive, thick-skinned, and emotionally self-controlled, which is the opposite of a sensitive boy. When boys don't conform to the "boy code" and instead show their gentleness and emotions, they are often ostracized and humiliated.

Bullies tend to target kids who seem different from others. Since the 80 percent of non-HSBs are hardwired neurologically to behave in a different manner than the 20 percent of HSBs, many sensitive boys do not fit in with the vast majority of boys and risk being bullied. Bullies also target kids who don't fight back and who react deeply to teasing. Research shows that 85 percent of HSBs avoided fighting and most sensitive boys become more emotionally upset from bullying than other boys.
 Read the entire article>> 

Teach Kindness and Tolerance Through Song

We all know how much children love music. Songs can do so much more than just entertain...some songs can teach children about kindness and tolerance.

Listen to the song “Be a Buddy, not a Bully” on YouTube:

Be a buddy, not a bully
A real friend, who's good and true
Let's all be friends
Friends are where it's at