Self-Compassion: Being Your Own Best Friend

When talking of compassion and kindness, we often focus on how we behave towards strangers and family/friends. But, a large part of being compassionate towards others is knowing how to be kind to yourself. Self-compassion can boost your physical and emotional health, help you during setbacks and motivate you to reach your goals as well as strengthen your relationships. Here are a few resources to get you started on understanding the importance of self-compassion:

The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen

Kristin Neff, Ph.D., is an associate professor in human development at the University of Texas of Austin and the author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.
Watch the TedTalk video>>


5 Science-Backed Reasons It's Important To Love Yourself
by Lindsay Holmes, HuffingtonPost.com
"When it comes to close relationships, by now we've probably got this whole "best friend" thing down pat. We give them a confidence boost when they don't feel their best. We're supportive of them when they fail at something. We encourage them when they're unsure of taking on new challenges. We're an all-around uplifting influence in their lives.

These positive behaviors toward our friends are probably as natural as breathing. So why is it so hard to do this for ourselves?

We rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve -- despite the fact that a plethora of research shows that if we treat ourselves with the same kindness we use on others, we'd live healthier and happier lives. Isn't it about time we turn that around?"
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(photo by Kiran Foster ©2012 via Flickr.com)

5 Strategies for Self-Compassion
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., PsychCentral.com
"It’s interesting that in other areas of our lives we understand that being harsh doesn’t work. Take the example of parenting. Decades ago, we thought that harsh punishment and criticism were effective in keeping kids in line and helping them do well, Neff said.

However, today, we know that being a supportive and encouraging parent is more beneficial. (When you’re told you’re a failure, the last thing you think you’re capable of is succeeding, or even trying.)

Self-compassion acts like a nurturing parent, she said. So even when you don’t do well, you’re still supportive and accepting of yourself. Like a kind parent, your support and love are unconditional, and you realize that it’s perfectly OK to be imperfect.

This doesn’t mean being complacent. Self-criticism tears us down; it presumes that “I am bad.” Self-compassion, however, focuses on changing the behavior that’s making you unhealthy or unhappy, Neff said."
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