Technology and Children: What Parents Should Consider

Here are some things I think parents and adults should think about when it comes to technology and children.

Technology is changing on a daily basis. As adults we need to understand the new technology our children are continually exposed to. Then we need to understand how they can use it, both for good and bad. It is our responsibility to determine what technology our children are allowed to participate in, our responsibility to make rules for how they can use it, and our responsibility to have definitive ramifications of using it in any other way than the guidelines we have set.

Technology creates an opportunity to bully 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Remember when we were kids? Bullying for the most part was restricted to the schoolyard. When we were home from school, or hanging out with our friends we were safe from it. Today, there is no safe place for children as long as they are engaged and participating in technology. A cell phone in the pocket, or a computer open for instant messages, chat rooms, etc. means our children can be bullied any time of day. As adults, we determine how much exposure our children have to technology. Even though it may be out of necessity a central part of our lives, it does not have to be a central part of our children. Kids need to be kids. They need to be engaged in other activities that do not involve technology. If they aren’t, we are helping them to be exposed to ongoing and more frequent opportunities to be bullied or bully others themselves.

Technology requires that children be taught to place a high value on their relationships outside the family. Internet sites like Facebook have taught kids that making a friend is as easy as clicking “yes” to accept a friend request, and that ending a friendship is even easier. All you have to do is click on “block,” and that person is out of your life, or are they? Have you heard the ramifications of blocking or unfriending someone on facebook when it comes to school age children. It is a set up for being bullied. As adults, it is our responsibility to help our children understand the difference between “friending” and being a “friend.” We also need to help them understand the idea of an “acquaintance” vs. a “friend.” As parents, we know the difference: a friend has your best interests in mind. They share your values, your likes, your dislikes, hobbies, etc., and you would want to hang out with them in person if you could. Parents, through guidance and example, must show children that technology is not a “quick” way to be popular or make friends. Instead it should be used to interact with people we would have relationships with in-person. If that “friend” doesn’t share our own values, interests, hobbies, etc., they really shouldn’t be considered a “friend

I truly believe that as parents, we need to be more active in how, when, and if, our children use technology in their daily lives. It is up to us to provide them with the rules and guidance needed to help them manage how bullying plays a role in their lives. We cannot sit back and blame technology for the “cyberbullying” crisis facing our kids today. Technology is a tool. There is a human hand and a human mind behind every vicious text message and every texted threat. We need to bring our children a sense of basic core values about their relationships so that they don’t fall down the slippery slope that cell phones and the Internet is paving for them.”